I am not a mother, I have no experience in this matter. But I do believe that one of the purposes of my life is to be a mother. Not every woman is supposed to be a mother, and not every woman has the purpose of being a mother – they may be created for something else first and foremost and take on motherhood as well – because, well they’re amazing.
I believe I was born to be a mother.
I’ve thought (and prayed) long and hard about this. There were days that I wept at the thought that I would live my life not ever knowing if I’d understand what my reason or purpose was for being here. Would I waste my life?
Then almost like a thunderous awakening, I all-of-a-sudden just knew. Whether you believe it was God speaking to me or not (I don’t mind) but for me I truly believe that God put the knowledge of who I was born to be in my heart that day. I suddenly knew that even though I wasn’t (or didn’t ever want to be) a well-known, celebrated person in the history of this world, I was created to raise people that would make an impact, that would change lives, that would have beautiful hearts.
I always thought my purpose would look a lot more traditional: feeding the homeless, building orphanages, helping the needy. I take hope in knowing that yes, I can and should do all those things (and more), but my purpose (are you sick of me using this word yet!) was something quite different, but so so beautiful. What an honour.
I will have other interests. I will have a career. I will be my own person. But all the while I will know that these things are just a sideline to the mother I was meant to be.
It’s going to be hard. I’m going to have to work on my flaws – patience, for example, is not my virtue.
I’m going to have to give up a lot of things, and accept new things that I never imagined. I’m going to be tired, exhausted, flustered.
I’m going to doubt whether I was meant for this, I’ll think I’m failing, question whether this was really God’s purpose for me.
But then, isn’t that what’s unique about a mother’s love? The selflessness that becomes apparent when a mother forgoes sleep to stay awake with her baby; she listens to their stories (over and over) when she would rather run away (and perhaps sometimes she does hide and run away – hang in there all you courageous mums); she loves her child even when they might not seem to like her back.
There is little that comes close to the purity of a mothers love. I can’t believe that one day I will experience that overwhelming love.
I hope all you dad’s out there know that you too are amazing, I’m sorry I haven’t written this at all in your perspective; and that all mothers aren’t sitting there rolling their eyes at me screaming: you have no idea how hard it is!
You are absolutely right, I don’t, I have no idea. But I really appreciate you letting me share this (perhaps naive) internal dialogue with you. I hope all good mothers out there know how incredible they are.
P.S. I am not pregnant or planning on having children for a while longer.
I hope you’ve had a lovely week so far. I’m really enjoying delving into the deeper meanings of love.